I’ve been a very good human being this year. Which is why I’m asking for a little Christmas present. Would you be so kind and reply to this short questionnaire.
Christmas with Your Family Provides an Opportunity to Practice
Our family members are masters at giving us feedback. Some of it is blunt, some less obvious, some has a point and some is downright outrageous. When you feel yourself getting tense and irritated, it is a perfect opportunity to investigate your feedback triggers.
There Is No Reason to Be Rude Just Because You’re Having a Flow
It is easy to hide behind the statement that “this is just who I am”. It is important to understand the characteristics of your personality, but it’s not useful to build a fortress with them.
How Quickly Is Quickly?
“What does quickly mean to you?” It seems like an utterly silly thing to ask. We learn as a child that quick is quick and that’s it. But it isn’t so simple at all.
It’s Not Always Your Fault but It Is Always Your Responsibility
Who is given the most challenging and best projects, most valuable customers? Probably not to the one who cannot settle arguments and be the bigger person.
Should We Start with a Round of Introductions?
I’m not a big fan of round of introductions. But we cannot avoid them so here’s a handy formula to make the experience less painful.
Feeling + Behaviour + Impact = FBI Feedback Formula
FBI feedback is best suited for situations where you need to address the actions or behaviour that has caused some emotions – negative or positive.
Do I Have to Apologize When I’ve Done Nothing Wrong?
We ask too little questions. We don’t explore the context enough. We rush to response: “come on, don’t get all worked up about that, it was just a JOKE!”
Me kysymme aivan liian vähän kysymyksiä. Selvitämme aivan liian vähän taustatietoja. Lähdemme useimmiten suin päin vastaamaan, että ”älä nyt hyvä ihminen raivostu, sehän oli VITSI”.
Hamburger Isn’t a Suitable Shape for Feedback
Hamburger as a feedback model lets all parties off the hook too easily. At worst it gives a permission to flee the situation and not to confront the feedback at all.
A Bigmouth and a Contemplator – Who Sets the Pace of the Conversation?
In Finnish language our word vuorovaikutus (interaction) reveals the nature of the act itself: vuoro means turn, and vuorovaikutus implies that interaction should indeed happen by taking turns, one by one.