Human beings come with three different triggers that activate when we receive feedback. Either we feel that the feedback is unreasonable or simply wrong, it comes from a wrong person or it threatens our identity.
When the one asking the question cannot tell, what mayhem of thoughts, calculations and scenarios is piling up in your head and the answer is just being processed, he doesn’t have the patience to wait for the answer.
If you feel a panicky urge to reassure the customer of your own expertise you might forget one of the most effective tools. By asking the right questions we bring our knowledge forth better than simply having all the right answers.
Sandi Metz’s useful and captivating keynote speech from RubyConf 2017 takes you from a simple question to an unexpected path.
If the other person clearly would need advice, but for one reason or another won’t ask for them, there’s a magical trick you can perform: ask permission to give advice.
We try to show that we care by giving advice. However when faced with a tough situation we rarely need advice. More often we need someone to be there without judging, pitying or advicing.
Yes, but… What if there needs to be a but? But what if the other person is simply wrong? What if I disagree completely?
Is it possible to overcome imposter syndrome? What is it anyway? Oscar Santolalla and I discussed the topic on his Time to Shine Podcast episode 132.
When I concentrate on my breathing I’m attached to my body which is attached to this moment. This is necessary starting point to be able to develop your thinking.
The developer feels rightfully frustrated or misunderstood if the customer answers whatever they want instead of the question that was actually asked.