The co-founder and co-CEO of Atlassian Mike Cannon-Brookes tells us how Imposter Syndrome has been with him from the beginning of his career and has never eased.
“The central task of psychotherapy with impostors is to lessen the client’s dependence on others’ positive evaluations for his or her self-esteem and to build a more internalized sense of self-worth.”
In short, a person suffering from Imposter Syndrome is not able to see themselves as skilled or able – despite that fact that they may be managing their work and life just fine.
When caught up with imposter thoughts, a person creates themselves a completely unattainable and unsustainable ‘competence ideal’. Trying to live up to this ideal feeds the creation of yet more imposter feelings.
How about when once I simply told my customer “no” and they took it just fine? Does this prove that your “yes, and” tool is actually not needed at all?
Are you one of those people, for whom NO comes naturally and is more or less your default reaction? Take a step to the next level and learn to say no without saying no.
“Don’t ask or give advice” is of course in itself an advice. Don’t believe it. Instead read the whole article of why making space for the other to come up with a solutions is better than giving advice.
We think we can want everything, and that we don’t have to pay anything for the things that we want. We also think that if we don’t like something, it necessarily means we don’t want it. But these are all misconceptions.
Values define and guide everything we do. Yet we spend very little time to examine what it actually is that we find valuable. Now is just the right time to do that.
When our hero climbs one more step forward, s/he takes a few deep breaths and asks quietly: What do I want regarding this problem right now?