We would of course prefer if only the content of the speech would matter. But the truth is, we don’t trust a speaker who doesn’t have a convincing body language. The good new is, we have been born with an ability to stand convincingly.
When you want the decision maker to be on your side, it is important to address the right person in the meeting. The one who actually affects the decision – instead of the nice dude, who already agrees with you.
“So that X understands” is an impossible assignment. We cannot know for sure how somebody understands. So it is hideous instruction, although the one who gave it, cannot be blamed.
Negotiation jujitsu is a skill anyone can, and probably should, learn. But it is true that introverts have many intrinsic characteristics that are beneficial in a negotiation.
The better you know the values of the people you’re talking to, the easier it is to choose the right arguments to win them over. And the better you know yours, the faster you recognise when you try to convince yourself instead of the other.
It is actually possible that your boss, team leader, colleague and spouse have no idea what kind of damage they produce if they interrupt you in the middle of your work. Tell it to them!
Shame makes us think we are bad, guilt helps us grow, humiliation makes us angry and embarrassment makes us laugh in the end. Each is a vital feeling, though you can get stuck in shame and that is not a good thing.
When I’m wasting my breath complaining of something, my loved ones look at me gently and ask: “Elisa, what else could that mean?” It is irritating. But it works.
Is feedback the next most important skill to learn and why does ti cause so strong emotions? Watch the lightning talk from WordCamp Nordic 2019 event.
If you were a hostage negotiator and you would be sitting around a table waiting intently for a phone to ring, in what position would you be sitting?