Update your mindware

First you became aware, then you can start to develop

We upgrade our computers once every few years and operating systems and applications every second day. Yet we tend to forget the mindware that operates our everyday lives.

The quality of our communication is not completely in our own hands. How we listen to, interact with and understand others is not just our conscious decision. And even if we’d like to tell ourselves otherwise, we don’t have complete control over our own behavior.

From our childhood until today we have picked up different rules, beliefs and habits which have quite a determining role in defining how we will behave in any given situation. The good news is, that we grow and change throughout our lives. It is possible to consciously affect this mindware. That is why the most important work to develop your communication skills is done by developing your mindset.

Start with these

Strain your brain by asking what if not

What if not is a semi insane question. It works like this: what if this thing I’m familiar with would NOT be that which I think it to be right now.

Feedback has its finger on three triggers

Human beings come with three different triggers that activate when we receive feedback. Either we feel that the feedback is unreasonable or simply wrong, it comes from a wrong person or it threatens our identity.

Do you always have to try to solve my problems?

We try to show that we care by giving advice. However when faced with a tough situation we rarely need advice. More often we need someone to be there without judging, pitying or advicing.