Tools for tough situations

Within every conflict there’s a possibility for growth

It’s easy to be a good team player on days when everybody is happy. It takes a whole lotta more talent to be a good team player on other days, when opinions, goals and personalities clash. However, each argument, conflict and difficult situation contains a possibility to develop as a human being.

These situations feel uneasy at first. We have a tendency to avoid discomfort, fear and rejection. In addition to that, most of us have been brought up to believe one should not argue. No wonder we would like to circle around difficult topics and put out any potential conflict as fast as possible. But that is not a sustainable way of dealing with things.

Not all arguments are necessary. I want to help you to recognize the ones that are. I want to provide you with tools to withstand and endure difficult situations and deal with challenging people. What is good argument like? How can you disagree in a constructive manner? How to find the growth within the conflict?

Start with these

The Responsibility Process

It was not my fault, this sucks and do I really have to? This is our automatic way of thinking, but it is not the best possible train of thought to have. If we move from these steps onwards, we are rewarded with better solutions and less anxiety.

The Story I Tell Myself of the Occasion

If it was up to our brain to decide, we would be the most important person of every story. Most often this interpretation is, however, wrong. It is a good idea to have a reality check by telling your version of the story and asking, how the other person sees it.

I’m Not Rude, I’m Just Having a Flow

It is actually possible that your boss, team leader, colleague and spouse have no idea what kind of damage they produce if they interrupt you in the middle of your work. Tell it to them!

What Else Could This Mean?

When I’m wasting my breath complaining of something, my loved ones look at me gently and ask: “Elisa, what else could that mean?” It is irritating. But it works.

Dear Developer

I’ve been a very good human being this year. Which is why I’m asking for a little Christmas present. Would you be so kind and reply to this short questionnaire.

Christmas with Your Family Provides an Opportunity to Practice

Our family members are masters at giving us feedback. Some of it is blunt, some less obvious, some has a point and some is downright outrageous. When you feel yourself getting tense and irritated, it is a perfect opportunity to investigate your feedback triggers.