On the corridors of many workplaces wander alienated, discouraged and mentally quit employee zombies. Giving up is our mental getaway, when the pressure of shame and obligation becomes too much to bear.
Start with these
“I just have to take care of these, do this and execute that. It is my responsibility.” This is normally considered as responsiblity but, confusingly, it is still one step away from actually taking responsibility.
How can I be this bad and useless? I will admit being at fault, dwell in shame and beat myself up for making a mistake. It’s such a shame that this won’t actually solve the problem, though.
This is what it is around here. This is simply how the projects go and clients act. And there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. Or is there?
It most certainly was NOT my fault. This is our minds first conclusion when we encounter adversity or a problem. And then we keep on searching until we find the one to blame.
It was not my fault, this sucks and do I really have to? This is our automatic way of thinking, but it is not the best possible train of thought to have. If we move from these steps onwards, we are rewarded with better solutions and less anxiety.
It is actually possible that your boss, team leader, colleague and spouse have no idea what kind of damage they produce if they interrupt you in the middle of your work. Tell it to them!
If you were a hostage negotiator and you would be sitting around a table waiting intently for a phone to ring, in what position would you be sitting?
If the other person clearly would need advice, but for one reason or another won’t ask for them, there’s a magical trick you can perform: ask permission to give advice.
We blame to ease our discomfort and pain. In those situations innocent people might get yelled at about non-related things without any fault.