Tools for tough situations

Within every conflict there’s a possibility for growth

It’s easy to be a good team player on days when everybody is happy. It takes a whole lotta more talent to be a good team player on other days, when opinions, goals and personalities clash. However, each argument, conflict and difficult situation contains a possibility to develop as a human being.

These situations feel uneasy at first. We have a tendency to avoid discomfort, fear and rejection. In addition to that, most of us have been brought up to believe one should not argue. No wonder we would like to circle around difficult topics and put out any potential conflict as fast as possible. But that is not a sustainable way of dealing with things.

Not all arguments are necessary. I want to help you to recognize the ones that are. I want to provide you with tools to withstand and endure difficult situations and deal with challenging people. What is good argument like? How can you disagree in a constructive manner? How to find the growth within the conflict?

Start with these

People harp on about things when they don’t feel listened to

Sometimes you just can’t get your point across. You get frustrated. The other person harps on and on, and sticks to their own point like week-old chewing gum. How many times, and in how many different ways, must you express something before it’s finally accepted?

That one person is just sooo difficult

It’s easy to label a person who feels negative as a killjoy and a nuisance without considering any further what drives their behaviour. But what makes someone be the person who always sees the risks and threats, and who always asks the irritating and difficult questions?

Is it our biggest problem that people don’t read?

One tech professional told me once in a fit of frustration, “Elisa, the biggest communication problem this organisation has is that people simply don’t read.” But if we know for a fact that people don’t read, is that then a problem – or a fact of life that we need to adjust to?

Hanlon’s razor teaches us to interpret things better

People have a tendency to assume that anything unpleasant was done with malicious intent. However, Hanlon’s razor tells us, “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by neglect.”

Fight the Urge to Say NO

Are you one of those people, for whom NO comes naturally and is more or less your default reaction? Take a step to the next level and learn to say no without saying no.

Making Space is More Important Than Giving Advice

“Don’t ask or give advice” is of course in itself an advice. Don’t believe it. Instead read the whole article of why making space for the other to come up with a solutions is better than giving advice.

The Responsibility Process Sidetrack: I Quit!

On the corridors of many workplaces wander alienated, discouraged and mentally quit employee zombies. Giving up is our mental getaway, when the pressure of shame and obligation becomes too much to bear.