When you want the decision maker to be on your side, it is important to address the right person in the meeting. The one who actually affects the decision – instead of the nice dude, who already agrees with you.
Start with these
“So that X understands” is an impossible assignment. We cannot know for sure how somebody understands. So it is hideous instruction, although the one who gave it, cannot be blamed.
Negotiation jujitsu is a skill anyone can, and probably should, learn. But it is true that introverts have many intrinsic characteristics that are beneficial in a negotiation.
The better you know the values of the people you’re talking to, the easier it is to choose the right arguments to win them over. And the better you know yours, the faster you recognise when you try to convince yourself instead of the other.
When the one asking the question cannot tell, what mayhem of thoughts, calculations and scenarios is piling up in your head and the answer is just being processed, he doesn’t have the patience to wait for the answer.
If you feel a panicky urge to reassure the customer of your own expertise you might forget one of the most effective tools. By asking the right questions we bring our knowledge forth better than simply having all the right answers.
Yes, but… What if there needs to be a but? But what if the other person is simply wrong? What if I disagree completely?
The developer feels rightfully frustrated or misunderstood if the customer answers whatever they want instead of the question that was actually asked.
We have two opposing needs: the need for control and certainty and the need for creativity and uncertainty. Using both forces is a key to successful negotiations.
We would like to believe that our intelligence will help us change our world view based on facts. According to science it just ain’t so.