Last time I brought up, that a developer, who has been interrupted in the middle of a flow or deep thinking, is understandably and justifiably pissed off. Equally as important is to stress that this doesn’t give a free ticket to behave badly. There happens to be some individuals who are always irritated or in a bad mood.
Some of these individuals try to use their personality and the nature of their work as a cape that justifies the bad-temperedness. “Doesn’t everybody have a right to be themselves, am I supposed to start to act like a fricking sunshine?” And some just don’t seem to recognize their own behaviour at all.
”This is who I am”
It’s true, that everybody has a right to be themselves and it’s no use trying to pretend something else. It would just eat you alive. Yet, here we have to add a small but. When you’re at your workplace, you should try to be civilised and polite, professional and cooperative.
In addition, people are causing a lot of harm to themselves if they build a fortress out of their personality traits and tendencies. Nobody is destined to be anything certain, we are a lot of things and we change constantly throughout our lives. We can refine all of our tendencies – some of them take more work than others – and most of our behaviour patterns are actually quite far from the best we could be.
Sure, it is good to know how we naturally operate and accept that. We can only develop ourselves in the point where we stand. But we must be careful not to let ourselves off too easily and not to lean towards the thought that there is nothing we can do.
Then there is this other group that doesn’t recognise their behaviour. Of course, each and every one of us is blind to our own behaviour from time to time. The more we spend time inside our heads, the deeper in our thoughts we go. And the less we listen to the signals in our bodies and the less we are present in the situation, the more blind we get.
Instead, during the day we should regularly take notice of what’s going one. Certainly, you’re going to confuse yourself if you overanalyse everything, and life isn’t about constantly observing yourself and your behaviour. Yet, it is good to stop and think about one’s reactions every now and then. Why did I say this or do that?
Let’s, for example, think about this discomfort caused by deep thinking or the irritation that was felt because the flow was interrupted. It’s rather easy to blame the one that interrupted you. “What a JERK! Comes here to wave his arms like that… I have a complete right to snarl!”
Maybe so. But are you sure you’re aware enough of what made you snarl? Because the reaction happens always in you, not in your environment. It’s also crucial to think about what you want to achieve with your reaction. What is the outcome of this kind of reaction, and is it all worth it?
Do we have a right to be grumpy? Can we stop ourselves from reacting? Come chat with us in Koodarikuiskaaja Slack.
TL;DR: There is no reason to be a jerk
- The irritation caused by the interruption of your flow isn’t a free ticket to behave badly.
- Nobody is irritated and in a bad mood by essence.
- You can develop yourself throughout your life.
- It’s important to recognise your reactions and what caused them.